Reader & Organizer: Judy Ting (Judy Meiler)
Editor: Monica Bei (Aleli Damiano)
This comment is also posted on Meredith's blog as feedback.
The dialogue
[19:42] Judy Meiler: I have finished already.
[19:42] Aleli Damiano: I have read it...cool....
[19:43] Meredith Rhosar: haha I think so
[19:43] Judy Meiler: Yeah, I think so too.
[19:43] Meredith Rhosar: last night
[19:43] Meredith Rhosar: it's a coincidence
[19:43] Aleli Damiano: I mean is great that u got the chance to interact with these people...
[19:43] Meredith Rhosar: yes!!!
[19:43] Meredith Rhosar: or I would just introduce New York XD
[19:44] Aleli Damiano: and as u mentioned in the story they were willing to help, I have hard time finding help in SL
[19:44] Meredith Rhosar: but I chatted with them till 3 a.m...
[19:44] Judy Meiler: I also met a friend who lives in Peru in real life this morning. Ha! Ha!
[19:44] Meredith Rhosar: have you?
[19:44] Meredith Rhosar: why?
[19:44] Meredith Rhosar: people didn';t help you?
[19:44] Aleli Damiano: I do not know...perhaps I am not as lucky as u r XD
[19:45] Meredith Rhosar: hahaha
[19:45] Meredith Rhosar: don't say that
[19:45] Meredith Rhosar: so do I need to summerize it?...
[19:45] Meredith Rhosar: I think you can easily understand XD
[19:45] Aleli Damiano: I am just joking...I have got some help but most people do not like newbies, they do not like teaching u know...
[19:46] Meredith Rhosar: no time to use difficult words haha
[19:46] Meredith Rhosar: yeah I was quite nervous last night, too
[19:46] Meredith Rhosar: but they taught me even how to "click"!
[19:46] Aleli Damiano: yes, it is very well organized, I mean ur story...
[19:47] Judy Meiler: But I can't precisely get the point that you want to talk about. Is it about the warmhearted friendship?
[19:47] Meredith Rhosar: well organized?!
[19:47] Meredith Rhosar: yes
[19:47] Aleli Damiano: yeah, I mean it has an introduction a body and a conclusion
[19:47] Meredith Rhosar: the experience of an friendship
[19:47] Meredith Rhosar: what happened
[19:48] Meredith Rhosar: and I want to keep the friendship
[19:48] Judy Meiler: Ok, I get it now!
[19:48] Aleli Damiano: and yes, I got it from that point of view, a chance to build up friendship and also as second point that there are people willing to help...
[19:48] Judy Meiler: Yes!
[19:49] Meredith Rhosar: yes I was really surprised
[19:49] Meredith Rhosar: they were not impatient at all!
[19:49] Aleli Damiano: I think that's very important because as I have told u some people we had not very sweet experiences...
[19:50] Judy Meiler: Oh! Poor Monica, don't be sad!
[19:51] Aleli Damiano: no no...I am not sad at all, just telling my part of the story on this matter...
[19:51] Judy Meiler: Maybe in the future we can help people in SL too. Ha! Ha!
[19:51] Aleli Damiano: that will be nice...
[19:52] Meredith Rhosar: I'm still an idiot in SL...
[19:52] Meredith Rhosar: hahaha
[19:52] Aleli Damiano: though ur story has all the parts, I kind of feel that it was written in a rush...u know what I mean?
[19:52] Judy Meiler: Me too. Ha! Ha!
[19:52] Meredith Rhosar: me too. haha
[19:52] Meredith Rhosar: so how can I revise it?...
[19:53] Aleli Damiano: yes, I think so...
[19:53] Meredith Rhosar: how?
[19:53] Judy Meiler: I want to know what makes them like to help beginners in SL.
[19:53] Meredith Rhosar: it's the words' problem?
[19:54] Meredith Rhosar: I don't know either!!!
[19:54] Meredith Rhosar: and I think if I go back to ask them it
[19:54] Aleli Damiano: just polish it a little bit, maybe add some more details about the island they took u to...
[19:54] Judy Meiler: So you didn't ask them?
[19:54] Meredith Rhosar: they'll think i'M STRANGE
[19:54] Meredith Rhosar: I just kept thanking them
[19:55] Meredith Rhosar: If some tells he likes to help people, would you ask why?
[19:55] Judy Meiler: You can tell them that you are writing about their kindness and friendship.
[19:55] Meredith Rhosar: uh...ok i'll try...
[19:56] Meredith Rhosar: so Monica
[19:56] Aleli Damiano: yes...
[19:56] Judy Meiler: Because many people treat strangers coldly, I want to know what makes them different.
[19:56] Meredith Rhosar: I think I have problem with my preposition...
[19:56] Aleli Damiano: what do u mean?
[19:56] Meredith Rhosar: warmhearted haha
[19:57] Meredith Rhosar: I kept using "and"
[19:57] Judy Meiler: I think it's a common problem.
[19:57] Meredith Rhosar: ?
[19:58] Aleli Damiano: that's what I mean when I said u can polish it...delete some words that u think are unnecessary...
[19:58] Meredith Rhosar: oh ok
[19:58] Aleli Damiano: or replace them...I think just very little change, without touching the structure as a whole...
[19:59] Meredith Rhosar: haha thank you Monica!!!
[19:59] Aleli Damiano: no problem...
[19:59] Judy Meiler: Yeah, I think so too.
[19:59] Meredith Rhosar: so any further comment?
[20:00] Aleli Damiano: that's it from my side...
[20:01] Meredith Rhosar: Judy?
[20:01] Judy Meiler: Yeah, I still want to know more why they are so friendly, not like the most of people.
[20:02] Judy Meiler: So that's my opinion.
[20:02] Meredith Rhosar: ok I'll try to ask them
[20:02] Meredith Rhosar: thank you
[20:02] Meredith Rhosar: is that all?
[20:02] Aleli Damiano: thanks to u for sharing ur story :)
[20:02] Meredith Rhosar: :)
[20:02] Judy Meiler: You're welcome!
Summary of the reader's and the editor's suggested revisions
Meredith shares a very special experience with us. She met two foreigners in New York City, where they invited her to their own island and treated her very friendly. At their home, they not only taught her how to use the functions in SL, but also encouraged her to learn more skill and knowledge as possible. In fact, she appreciates the sincere friendship very much that she would keep in touch with them often and try to become skilled in SL one day.
We both think it is a really wonderful experience for Meredith. She is so lucky that she can have the opportunity to interact with the foreigners; especially they are so kind and willing to help her. We consider she did a very good job and the structure is organized, but still has to polish the words and grammar, because we can feel she wrote it in a rush. Besides, most of people treat strangers coldly and don't like to teach, so we want to know what makes them different and glad to help beginners in SL. Actually it would be a great subject worth exploring for our group project later too.
Brief comment on the entire article with respect to organization, length, logic, and style
It is an interesting and touching story to me. I'm so happy to know there are still many warm-hearted people taking pleasure in helping strangers. The article is well-organized, including introduction, body and conclusion clearly. Now if she can polish her words and add more pictures or description to portray their private island, it can satisfy our curiosity, because we have never had the chance to visit others' house in SL before. It's a really special experience for us and we hope we can offer this kind of friendship to the beginners in SL in the future. Handing down the generosity from person to person!
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